Ray Clarke

Squad No. 45
Birthday January 1, 1968
Age 49
Joined January 27, 2015
Experience 2 years
Previous Clubs None
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The Man with more plastic men than Toys-R-Us and a better tan than George Hamilton, the giant that is….

Age: 47

Nick name: Clarkey

Position and what position you like most : centre half, sweeper

Best player in the current team: Steve barnett/ Carl Cherrie

Most skilful in the team: Kim

 Most frustrating in the team: Nosh

 Best player you’ve played alongside at the club

Dan Hammer. I’ve had a very fruitful career and won a lot in non league. I’ve always had a partner I’ve clicked with and know their game (strengths/weaknesses) and Dan is another player i really enjoy playing with, but i have to add that Stevie Flint has been a pleasure to play with, he reads the game so well.

 Best Player you’ve ever played against

Take ya pick,I’ve played against a lot of pros, tommy Mooney, paul pescliledo, richard  sneekers, goeff horsfield, Marcus bignot, lee hendrie, but probably Paul Devlin as we had many battles and he’s a very clever player.

 Best goal/best save: Smashing in a header for the 3rds

Funniest football moment on or off the pitch
For me it would be the presentation video with the interviews. I hope we do all that agin this year. The send ups were hilarious and the amateurs did a great job of making it fun.

Best/worst dancer: Matty Bourne…..Worst, lol

 Best/worst dresser

Seriously? Robbie Boroughs, no mirror in that house, sometimes its like the Dulux dog just vomited over him, he would wear purple with green and feel no way about it as long as Armani is on it. Sorry Robbie, ha ha ha ha.

 Best/worst hair: No real best, but worst would be Martin Walsh’s afro!!!!

Best JUFC moment on or off the pitch: Winning last season!

Tightest in the team

Dan, by his own admittance, but the boss (darren) he squeaks when he walks, but that could be the new hips breaking in. i think they put his wallet on the inside of his new hip!

 Worst team performance/worst game you’ve played in: Against our 3rd side this season in a friendly was absolute car crash.

Biggest moan about the club

Not all going back to the Bailey after matches and being one club of over the hill has beens and enjoying a drink together and celebrating the fact we’re all still doing it together.

 Funniest/grumpiest/angriest in the team

Mark Terry cracks me up, even looking at him, lol. Carl Cherrie has the grumpiest look since Victor Meldrew, its like someone pissed in his beer ha ha ha ha even thou we know Carl isn’t like that. Angriest has to be little Mick in the 3rds, lord have mercy what an angry little man, he has no idea when he’s like that either which is hilarious and for the record i’m not angry, just serious about winning, tossers ha ha ha.

 Best team performance/best game you’ve played in

Best team performance was this weekend against the young bucks, we held our own and played them off the park in spats, i was very proud of all the team and if we go out with that attitude this season it’ll be medals all around again.

Ambition for the coming season

Your asking a man who doesn’t even like losing at playing Lego, its to win the division, standard!!!